fluent in mumble is moving

Yes, it's true. This blog, which has been well-used at its BlogSpot location, is making the leap to the WordPress platform, and I'm moving on up to local hosting! (Ooh! Ahh!) That means I don't have to rely on Blogger's, well, reliability, for better or for worse. It also means I get to tackle problems by myself.

The BlogSpot blog will remain in its place for the moment, but it will not be updated in the foreseeable future. Please update your links to the new, improved fluent in mumble:

Blog URL: http://gratemedia.com/fluentinmumble
RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/gratemedia/fluentinmumble

blog vacation, obviously.

But we have started the new NoiseBlog at http://gratemusic.com/noiseblog - check it out.

be prepared

Two things I learned within ten minutes of each other:

1. The Red Cross office in my town is being permanently closed. Donations dropped off right after Katrina.

2. The Red Cross has a very successful new ad campaign in California. I like their new in-your-face approach. http://blog.wired.com/design/2007/03/masterpieces_of.html

Start stocking up on necessities, folks. I'm not an alarmist - it's just a good idea.

Addendum: You may sign up for free Red Cross news updates and make a donation at http://www.redcross.org.

audience police

WARNING: If you are rude at a formal concert, expect to get a ticket. I've just finished Audience Police, our newest sub-site on NoiseBox.net. You can print tickets to give to people who do rude things, like:

• clapping within a set
• loudly unwrapping candies and cough drops
• neglecting to take their screaming children to the lobby
• using cell phones during the show

Are you ready to join the Audience Police force? Go to noisebox.net/audiencepolice and get started.

new website

It's still in early development, but I am working on a new site, NoiseBox.net. It is a place where musicians and poets can get low-cost profile pages for people to sample their work and find out where to buy it. Still in the process of getting artists and poets on board (so far, I've just been working hard to get the site up and running). But that's one reason I haven't posted much lately. Also, my sister is getting married.

not dead

It has been quite the hectic few weeks, and I'm taking a slight pause on both this blog and the music websites in order to take care of some small administrative tasks. Like what, you ask?

• Submitting music to a particular publisher for wider distribution.
• Beginning my last semester of undergraduate classes before student teaching.
• Tangling in red tape while trying to apply to student teach.
• Fiddling around with the mandolin.
• Replacing my hard drive and trying to find all the information it contained in other, non-crashed places.
• Rubbing my wife's back while she prepares to write her honors thesis. Very important.
• Getting another job, this time at the library, where I will sit behind the circulation desk during hours when nobody comes to the library.
• Directing the Institute Choir in Stake Conference. By the way, I love them. They sang very well after a grand total of one hour of rehearsal on the song we performed.
• Preparing extra work for the time off I take in February for the Church Music Festival.
• Trying to organize time off in April to sing in Columbia.
• Organizing and hosting an invitational speech and debate tournament this weekend with 21 high schools currently registered.
• Reading and writing submissions for the writing contest held at my university.
• A secret project I cannot currently divulge, but which is very important.

So if you don't read much from me in the next few weeks, it is not for lack of noteworthy activity - it is for lack of time and energy to report.

free music?

On the discussion board at KZION LDS Internet Radio, John Hesch asked me:

"...Nate, can you please explain why you think that spiritual music should be given away for free? Why should an LDS artist like yourself give away your music just because you song is about our faith? I don't understand that way of thinking and you're not the first person I have heard this from. LDS authors don't give away their books, LDS movie producers don't give away their movies, LDS artists don't give away their paintings. As an LDS consumer I expect to pay for your music, art, books, etc. What I don't want to do is pay more for your music, art or books just because it is about our faith."

This is a question I get often, and a question with which I continue to struggle. I am posting my answer here as a statement of my current feeling on the subject.

Good question. I don't think all music of a spiritual nature should be just given away, but I do think that it should be accessible. At this point I choose to give mine away because I have reasonably low overhead and I can afford to do so. But any way you slice it, 17 to 20 bucks for a CD with one good song is highway robbery (pardon the pun). Sometimes the ones who really need to hear it are those who can't afford it.

I suppose it depends on the nature of the music and the goal of the artist. For fun songs or songs mostly for entertainment purposes rather than spiritual teaching, I have no problem charging whatever the market will bear. However, if I actually believe the concepts about which I sing in my so-called spiritual songs, I should share that testimony freely to all who would benefit from it. If I claim any degree of divine inspiration in writing a song, it should be primarily for the building up of God's kingdom.

There are production costs. There are administrative costs. I don't generally give away or sell my copyrights or place much music in the public domain. Music is still a business. I just feel that by allowing free access to the music and asking for donations, in time those with more resources will pick up the tab for those who cannot afford to pay. Call me a hippie public radio tote-carrying idealist fool. Maybe I am. At the moment, we are doing better than breaking even on web hosting costs, so I have no real complaints.

This is not to knock artists who use different business models. When I go into the studio to do session work, or when I teach private lessons, do I turn down my rightful payment? Of course not. I also encourage donations when people download my music, I do occasional commissions, and if I was offered a good job making LDS music, I would seriously consider the offer. If I decide to release a CD, I will certainly charge for it. But I will do my best to make it affordable, and I will always offer a good amount of spiritual music for free.

cultural arts segment: how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue

This is the season for Christmas parties for work, school, family reunions, and whatever other reason people can concoct to have everybody over for dinner or those tiny little appetizers I can never spell the French word for. Here on fluent in mumble, I like to give my readers a variety of useful, culturally relevant subjects. This is one of those. It's only good at really boring or awkward dinners. Sometimes when everybody else has booze and you're sipping a Shirley Temple, it's nice to have a way to stand out besides your engaging conversational style. Take this as my gift to fellow teetotalers around the globe.

Here is my method to tie the stem of a Maraschino cherry in an overhand knot:

1. If possible choose a longer stem, especially if you are a beginner.
   
2. Be sure to practice before you actually try this at a dinner.
   
3. Plan for if you ignore step 2: If you are desperate to do this before you have mastered it, just get a drink with lots of cherries, discreetly tie one of the stems under the table in a believeable overhand knot and slip it in your mouth unnoticed. Wait a few minutes, then make a show of putting another straight stem in your mouth, contort your face a bit (be sure to give it enough time that people will believe you), then spit out your pre-knotted stem elegantly onto a spoon.
   
4. No, that wasn't the WHOLE plan. If you want to do it for real, the secret is that successful cherry-stem knotting involves as much teeth as tongue.
   
5. First, bend the stem into a "U" shape with your tongue - the ends up, the curve down, right around the gumline of your bottom front teeth. I forgot to mention that this post may be considered graphic by some readers. Proceed with the utmost caution.
   
6. Next, cross the arms of the U. Arm A over arm B, so arm A is nearer to your tongue and arm B is nearer to your teeth. Which is on which side doesn't matter.
   
7. Push arm A (the one near your tongue) over arm B and through your slightly opened teeth. Then hold the top of the resulting loop to your top teeth with your tongue while gently sucking the end of arm A through the loop.
   
8. Hook the end of arm A with your bottom teeth and pull it through by biting it gently and allowing the rest of the loop to be carried in the opposite direction by the movement of your lips.
   
9. Tighten. This can be accomplished by biting an end and moving the rest of the loop away from that anchor point. Be sure to tighten enough to make it secure, but leave it loose enough that people can tell it is an overhand knot. Just a bump in the middle of the stem is significantly less impressive.
   
10. Spit it out and impress people.
    
11. Leave a comment on my blog and let us all know how it went.

more really, really, really short stories

You can read more about my really, really, really short story project here. Here are three more for your reading pleasure:

#4: A Western.
Buck’s IPod was turned up so loud he didn’t hear the rustler stealing his
cattle until a brief pause between Meatloaf power ballads.

#5: Western, Part II
Tex wasn’t like the other cowboys. Sure, he would sit at the bar and argue
about Ford and Chevy (usually on the Chevy side, to be safe), but deep inside he
had the undeniable hankering for a Hyundai.

#6: A Cautionary Tale
Clarissa was bored, so she sat in her
armchair and didn’t do anything until she was buried in the sands of
time.
Moral: Even if you are bored, occasionally dusting your house may
prevent eventual suffocation.

getting up on time

How to get up when your alarm goes off

I am going to try this. If it works, I'll let you know. Added it to my 43 Things.

For me, waking up is one of the least pleasant acts in my life, but I really enjoy the time I am awake.

the election

After the hype of election night (correction: the hype never ends, but the initial hype has calmed somewhat), I feel I can now comment sensibly on the election.

Looking through a number of blogs on all sides of the political world, I have come to a solid, disturbing conclusion: The Middle is sorely underrepresented in all things political.

By The Middle, I mean people like me. I vote. I am not a huge supporter of some of the President's ideas, although I have great respect for the office and the person. I also had great respect for the office and the person during the Clinton administration as well, although some of his acts certainly cannot be condoned. I do not have a venomous hate for all Democrats like some conservatives I hear in the media. I do not have a venomous hate for all Republicans like some liberals.

Am I an independent? Not on paper. To be an independent would be to lose all power in primaries and caucuses. I would much rather remain registered with a party so I can have some influence in which person is selected to run.

Who has been catering to The Middle, the people like me, during this election season? Has anybody stepped forward as a voice of reason to say that there is good in all parties and that cooperation, as Sesame Street taught us so many years ago, makes it happen? No. At least not on a broad scale.

Instead, we have been fed negativity in almost every campaign, whether by the candidates or by their supporters or by media covering the races. This language of mutual hatred is demeaning to everybody in public life, and it pollutes the climate to the point that even months after the election, those who actually made it into office are seen as unworthy of any trust.

I can say that I voted for both elephants and donkeys on Tuesday. I cannot say that I am more or less confident in the future of America today than I was a week ago. No matter who won in the election, The Middle lost. The reasonable people who want trustworthy leaders lost. Those who value the way the game is played as much as the final score realize that a so-called victory for either side in such dirty races is hollow at best. More than any election I can remember, this one seems particularly fraught with loss. The particular people who got the votes don't matter as much as the values and trust so many lost in gathering them.

May God bless the America we now are to become the America we know we ought to be. May we find some way to meet in The Middle and learn the art of civil discourse and brotherhood even in disagreement.

a couple of very interesting pieces on the power of thought

From Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, these blog posts are definitely worth reading:

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/in_over_my_head.html

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/affirmations.html