microsoft firefox?

Yep. It's awesome.

http://www.msfirefox.com/

ask dr. science

If you haven't heard of him, Dr. Science is one of my media heroes.

Listen.
Read.

o holy night (?)

Possibly the worst version of this song you may ever hear, but somehow also heartfelt. Not for the weak of stomach.

O Holy Night

cultural arts segment: how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue

This is the season for Christmas parties for work, school, family reunions, and whatever other reason people can concoct to have everybody over for dinner or those tiny little appetizers I can never spell the French word for. Here on fluent in mumble, I like to give my readers a variety of useful, culturally relevant subjects. This is one of those. It's only good at really boring or awkward dinners. Sometimes when everybody else has booze and you're sipping a Shirley Temple, it's nice to have a way to stand out besides your engaging conversational style. Take this as my gift to fellow teetotalers around the globe.

Here is my method to tie the stem of a Maraschino cherry in an overhand knot:

1. If possible choose a longer stem, especially if you are a beginner.
   
2. Be sure to practice before you actually try this at a dinner.
   
3. Plan for if you ignore step 2: If you are desperate to do this before you have mastered it, just get a drink with lots of cherries, discreetly tie one of the stems under the table in a believeable overhand knot and slip it in your mouth unnoticed. Wait a few minutes, then make a show of putting another straight stem in your mouth, contort your face a bit (be sure to give it enough time that people will believe you), then spit out your pre-knotted stem elegantly onto a spoon.
   
4. No, that wasn't the WHOLE plan. If you want to do it for real, the secret is that successful cherry-stem knotting involves as much teeth as tongue.
   
5. First, bend the stem into a "U" shape with your tongue - the ends up, the curve down, right around the gumline of your bottom front teeth. I forgot to mention that this post may be considered graphic by some readers. Proceed with the utmost caution.
   
6. Next, cross the arms of the U. Arm A over arm B, so arm A is nearer to your tongue and arm B is nearer to your teeth. Which is on which side doesn't matter.
   
7. Push arm A (the one near your tongue) over arm B and through your slightly opened teeth. Then hold the top of the resulting loop to your top teeth with your tongue while gently sucking the end of arm A through the loop.
   
8. Hook the end of arm A with your bottom teeth and pull it through by biting it gently and allowing the rest of the loop to be carried in the opposite direction by the movement of your lips.
   
9. Tighten. This can be accomplished by biting an end and moving the rest of the loop away from that anchor point. Be sure to tighten enough to make it secure, but leave it loose enough that people can tell it is an overhand knot. Just a bump in the middle of the stem is significantly less impressive.
   
10. Spit it out and impress people.
    
11. Leave a comment on my blog and let us all know how it went.

the coke and mentos guys

I know you probably already know it, but the Coke and Mentos guys have just finished their latest video, and it's definitely worth the portion of your life you waste watching it, because they have wasted so much more time making it.

http://eepybird.com/

nanowrimo

I started my novel today. By today, I mean this morning. I literally looked over at the clock and realized, "Oh. It's National Novel Writing Month. I guess I'd better write something." The working title is "Archie Frey and the Other People in my Inbox." It's stupid. I just need to make myself write it, because who knows when I'll ever write another novel? I'm up to 1,052 words. Goal is 50,000 by the end of November.

a long rant about something completely unimportant

My newest 43 Things goal is to finish the cinnamon toothpaste. I shall explain:

I bought a tube of cinnamon toothpaste a few moths before we were married, so I suppose it's been at least 9 months. It's a very big tube - family size or something. My wife hates it, so she uses another type of toothpaste that she doesn't like but also needs to finish. If we could just throw perfectly good things away, all would be well in our medicine cabinet, but as it is, we have two full-size toothpaste tubes, each about half full, slowly being emptied. They take up a lot of space in our little apartment with very little storage space. I suppose it doesn't help that I only use a small amount when brushing.

I didn't even get to the cinnamon one until a few months ago, because I was finishing a different toothpaste she also didn't like. It was one of those with two different pastes in a boxy plastic pump, and she (and I) didn't like how it's almost impossible to get equal amounts of both sides. The cinnamon tastes good, but the logistics of tube space sharing are too complicated. Toothpaste problems can put an undue strain on an otherwise harmonious and exciting marriage.

I think we may have to throw a party at our home when I finally finish the cinnamon toothpaste and we can be united as a couple in our choice of dental care products. Imagine - only one tube of some sensible mint toothpaste neatly placed in the cabinet! Some day, it will be a reality for us.