book review

Over the Christmas weekend, I stumbled upon an unbelieveable book sale. One of the books I grabbed was Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. I highly recommend it. Truss uses incisive British wit and common sense to defend punctuation. I know that reading about punctuation is not necessarily an exciting prospect to some, but Eats, Shoots and Leaves stands well on its humorous and literary merits. This is not like my high school grammar texts. In the interest of full disclosure, I have been madly in love with the intricacies of punctuation for some time, so I have been wanting to read it since hearing about it on the radio a few years ago. However, I was more than surprised at how enjoyable a read it was, regardless of its content.

http://www.eatsshootsandleaves.com/

the cinnamon toothpaste

For those of you wondering how my goal to finish the cinnamon toothpaste turned out, here is the result:

This week we went to the Salvation Army store and bought two silver platters, badly tarnished. I spent an evening with rags and my cinnamon toothpaste, cleaning and polishing and polishing and polishing. It used much of the toothpaste, and the rest was contaminated with tarnish, so it now lives under the sink for silver polishing in the future. I started again on the orange toothpaste last night. Once I finish it, I will be ready to switch back to mint, and there will be harmony in the medicine cabinet once again.

noisebox

The site redesign is finally complete! I can't believe it! Check it out. http://gratemusic.com

Here is the new Noisebox:

Noisebox 15 December 2006 - Volume 1 Issue 18

New design, new carol

Sorry for the long delay in releasing new music. We have been quite busy on the technical end of things. Gratemusic.com has been completely redesigned for easier navigation and future growth. Have a look around and contact us with your feedback.

We proudly announce the release of a new Christmas carol, Peaceful the Night, available through our Christmas page. With lyrics by David Macfarlane and music for SATB voices by Nathan Howe, this carol addresses not only the nativity of Christ, but his role as our creator and redeemer as well as his second coming.

Grate Music, LLC
http://gratemusic.com
http://LDSmusic.us

ask dr. science

If you haven't heard of him, Dr. Science is one of my media heroes.

Listen.
Read.

free music?

On the discussion board at KZION LDS Internet Radio, John Hesch asked me:

"...Nate, can you please explain why you think that spiritual music should be given away for free? Why should an LDS artist like yourself give away your music just because you song is about our faith? I don't understand that way of thinking and you're not the first person I have heard this from. LDS authors don't give away their books, LDS movie producers don't give away their movies, LDS artists don't give away their paintings. As an LDS consumer I expect to pay for your music, art, books, etc. What I don't want to do is pay more for your music, art or books just because it is about our faith."

This is a question I get often, and a question with which I continue to struggle. I am posting my answer here as a statement of my current feeling on the subject.

Good question. I don't think all music of a spiritual nature should be just given away, but I do think that it should be accessible. At this point I choose to give mine away because I have reasonably low overhead and I can afford to do so. But any way you slice it, 17 to 20 bucks for a CD with one good song is highway robbery (pardon the pun). Sometimes the ones who really need to hear it are those who can't afford it.

I suppose it depends on the nature of the music and the goal of the artist. For fun songs or songs mostly for entertainment purposes rather than spiritual teaching, I have no problem charging whatever the market will bear. However, if I actually believe the concepts about which I sing in my so-called spiritual songs, I should share that testimony freely to all who would benefit from it. If I claim any degree of divine inspiration in writing a song, it should be primarily for the building up of God's kingdom.

There are production costs. There are administrative costs. I don't generally give away or sell my copyrights or place much music in the public domain. Music is still a business. I just feel that by allowing free access to the music and asking for donations, in time those with more resources will pick up the tab for those who cannot afford to pay. Call me a hippie public radio tote-carrying idealist fool. Maybe I am. At the moment, we are doing better than breaking even on web hosting costs, so I have no real complaints.

This is not to knock artists who use different business models. When I go into the studio to do session work, or when I teach private lessons, do I turn down my rightful payment? Of course not. I also encourage donations when people download my music, I do occasional commissions, and if I was offered a good job making LDS music, I would seriously consider the offer. If I decide to release a CD, I will certainly charge for it. But I will do my best to make it affordable, and I will always offer a good amount of spiritual music for free.

by popular demand

As a musician, I have a soft spot for music of the most terrible sort. I have to share more, once again with a stern warning. This is not for children. This is not for pets. This may cause your houseplants to wither. I am not responsible for this. I am simply giving you the opportunity to hear . . .

Florence Foster Jenkins singing The Queen of the Night

o holy night (?)

Possibly the worst version of this song you may ever hear, but somehow also heartfelt. Not for the weak of stomach.

O Holy Night

cultural arts segment: how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue

This is the season for Christmas parties for work, school, family reunions, and whatever other reason people can concoct to have everybody over for dinner or those tiny little appetizers I can never spell the French word for. Here on fluent in mumble, I like to give my readers a variety of useful, culturally relevant subjects. This is one of those. It's only good at really boring or awkward dinners. Sometimes when everybody else has booze and you're sipping a Shirley Temple, it's nice to have a way to stand out besides your engaging conversational style. Take this as my gift to fellow teetotalers around the globe.

Here is my method to tie the stem of a Maraschino cherry in an overhand knot:

1. If possible choose a longer stem, especially if you are a beginner.
   
2. Be sure to practice before you actually try this at a dinner.
   
3. Plan for if you ignore step 2: If you are desperate to do this before you have mastered it, just get a drink with lots of cherries, discreetly tie one of the stems under the table in a believeable overhand knot and slip it in your mouth unnoticed. Wait a few minutes, then make a show of putting another straight stem in your mouth, contort your face a bit (be sure to give it enough time that people will believe you), then spit out your pre-knotted stem elegantly onto a spoon.
   
4. No, that wasn't the WHOLE plan. If you want to do it for real, the secret is that successful cherry-stem knotting involves as much teeth as tongue.
   
5. First, bend the stem into a "U" shape with your tongue - the ends up, the curve down, right around the gumline of your bottom front teeth. I forgot to mention that this post may be considered graphic by some readers. Proceed with the utmost caution.
   
6. Next, cross the arms of the U. Arm A over arm B, so arm A is nearer to your tongue and arm B is nearer to your teeth. Which is on which side doesn't matter.
   
7. Push arm A (the one near your tongue) over arm B and through your slightly opened teeth. Then hold the top of the resulting loop to your top teeth with your tongue while gently sucking the end of arm A through the loop.
   
8. Hook the end of arm A with your bottom teeth and pull it through by biting it gently and allowing the rest of the loop to be carried in the opposite direction by the movement of your lips.
   
9. Tighten. This can be accomplished by biting an end and moving the rest of the loop away from that anchor point. Be sure to tighten enough to make it secure, but leave it loose enough that people can tell it is an overhand knot. Just a bump in the middle of the stem is significantly less impressive.
   
10. Spit it out and impress people.
    
11. Leave a comment on my blog and let us all know how it went.